I am finally feeling better. I know one thing though … if I don’t find some kind of something to deal with these mood swings I am going to alienate everyone that loves me.
Luckily, that hasn’t happened yet. My parents and brothers live hundreds of miles away. My sisters have always thought I was a bitch so these swings don’t really faze them. My kids? Well, I try real hard not to blow up on them … but sometimes I can’t help it, you know? After you’ve heard, “Mom, can I …” for the hundredth time they really need to take cover. And B. If I were him I would have left me a long time ago. Then again, he has his moody moments, too. But there were times last week when he would come around me and I just wanted to scratch his eyes out. I would snap at him for breathing.
I just wish I could find some relief. I’m going to start with finding another doctor. My current physician is absolutely no help. I don’t know what I’m looking for her to tell me but she needs to tell me something: change my diet, breathing exercises … I don’t know. I’ve been doing some independent research but I’m not finding any suggestions to combat the mood swings that accompany perimenopause. This past week has been unbearable. Usually these episodes last a couple of days but I believe this one lasted for a full week. My moods ranged from happy to impatient to angry to sadness to depressed to horny to happy again … now today I’m back to normal and wondering what the hell happened to me. I took my daughter to the skating rink on Friday and the tears began to stream down my face as she got out of the car and entered the building. What the hell is my problem???? As I drove away, I started thinking about how she is getting so independent and she doesn’t need me and soon she’ll be leaving. Keep in mind ya’ll that she’s 11 years old. Oh brother, cry me a friggin’ river!
Sometimes I actually feel like I am CRAZY. (Are you agreeing with me, Shawn?)
Seriously, not being able to control your emotions is a terrible feeling; especially for a control freak like me. Someone suggested that I start taking St. John’s Wort. We’ll see. It’s supposed to promote a positive mood balance. At least that’s what the bottle says.
All right, enough about me. What’s up with you?
