I work from an internal frame of reference.

That's a fancy way of stating that I am extremely self-centered. There were times in my life when I actually believed the world revolved around me. I believed that the sun wouldn't rise if I didn't get out of bed. Is that crazy or what?

I'm better now -- not much but I'm making progress. I've noticed that many bloggers have suspended their postings recently. I'm thinking that because during this time of crisis it's hard for people to focus on themselves and the self gratification that blogging provides. Seriously, there are thousands of people who were devasted by Katrina; their lives literally taken away from them while we casually sit in front of our computer screens typing away about the trivial events of our lives. Some of us wrote about it. Some of us complained and pointed fingers. Others made donations and other small sacrifices for the cause wondering if it is really doing any good. I can't imagine being in a situation like that and I pray to God that I never will be. I don't know how I would cope.

What do you do when you wake up and everything that you hold dear is just gone? Who do you turn to?

Back to my internal frame of reference. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Doesn't it? Of course it does. I'm hurting right now. It's a deep hurt that will change me and my way of thinking for the rest of my life. I have to believe that I'm experiencing this kind of hurt because there is a lesson to be learned. I have to believe that. Otherwise what would be the point? I think the lesson is that the world is bigger than just me and my small experiences. I have to look beyond how I can feel better and actually do something to make someone else feel better.

I guess. I don't know.

I read 1 Peter 5:7 today which says Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm turning this one over to God. I can't deal with it and I don't want to deal with it.