Okay. Today I read one of the most honest and heart wrenching posts from That Girl Tam. It was incredible. I wish I could be that honest. This is supposed to be a safe place. You know, all anonymous and shit -- especially for me since no one I know knows I blog.

Well, I had a dance class this evening and my sister and I decided to stop off for a drink afterward and after two cosmopolitans I feel like writing. So here goes.

My ex-husband is trying to seduce me. That son of a bitch.

This is why I stay away from having a friendly relationship with him because somehow or another we end up strolling down memory lane and that always leads to us being naked.

I felt really good about the fact that we are being civil -- you know for the kids. But now he's trying to turn it into something else and I want to punch him right in the face. We've been down this road before since we've been divorced and it ended up being horrible. Not the sex -- that was amazing ... I mean how I felt afterward. I expected a new beginning. All he expected was more sex.

Anyway, he called me tonight and I expected him to ask to speak to my daughter. Instead he started up a conversation with me. He was going on about how he was surprised by our friendly interaction over the weekend at the step show. Afterward he began to reminisce and think about the old days, yada yada yada. Which led to our conversation this evening which got a little off track and led to some very suggestive topics. I hate him.

I reminded him that he is an almost married man. You know what he said? "Yeah, almost ... with a capitol A." I told him how wrong he was. That he can't call me talking a whole bunch of shit when he is involved with someone else. He agreed that he was being an asshole and he semi-apologized. I know he didn't mean it. After he put the offer on the table I said, "No thanks. Been there and done that!" You know what he said? "That was then -- this is now." His intent was to spark my curiosity which he did -- but I can't do that. Not to his woman and not to myself.

Why do they do that? I know he's going to try again. No one knows me better than he does. He knows what to say to get to me. Of course, the choice will always remain with me. I can decide to do the right thing. And I'm going to. But I wonder why some women (me) tend to allow sex to cloud our good judgement? Why do we associate sex with love or some other deep emotion when most of the time it really is just SEX.

With him, I get confused because of our daughter. We have this one beautiful thing that we share. Even if we never share anything else we will always share her. And I get so emotional when it comes to her that the love lines get blurry. I love her and I love him for giving me her. You know? This is crazy. I am not going to fall into that trap again. But I know he's not going to give up easily.

'night ya'll.