Being in limbo. Isn't that an odd term? Odd or not, I hate being in this state. It forces me to be patient. I guess somewhere along the line I was foolish enough to pray for patience. On the other hand it also keeps me from making premature decisions based purely on emotions. So I wait.

I know that I can no longer function effectively at my present job. I am surrounded by people who don't share my work ethic. I'm also struck by the fact that there are no minorities in management and the only women in management are in Administrative Services. I cannot change the structure of the company. It's clearly time to move on.

I have two options right now. Return to my former employer or move on to a new company. I've interviewed with both companies and they both have their pros and cons. I know exactly what I'll be walking into at my old job. I know the people, I know the work, I know the deadlines and I know the stress level and I'm ready for all of it. The problems that caused me to leave the first time are still there but I've learned how to react to those situations in the past year and a half. It's a comfortable place for me.

On the other hand, the new company is smaller and fast-paced. The man who I would be working for seems to have a good head on his shoulders. He explained that he prefers not to micromanage and he's impressed with me. However, the specifics of the job that I would be doing don't really seem to be that challenging.

Then there's the money. Let's face it ... if either company decides they can't pay me what I require I'm not going anywhere. I need to get the hell out of where I am but I also need to pay my mortgage and feed my children.

So today I wait.