Tomorrow is my eldest's birthday. My first born will be fifteen years old. He's taller than me now but the day he entered this world he weighed only six pounds. The nurses couldn't believe that this high yellow creature belonged to me. They actually listed his race as "white" on his chart. I promptly had it changed.

My first marriage had been annulled at this point and my due date was August 17th, so you can imagine my surprise when my water broke 4 weeks early. The doctor, of course, thinking that I was an ignorant first time mother suggested that I had urinated on myself. He was obviously wrong and apologized the next day.

My child is growing up and reminds me so much of myself. He told me last night that he can't wait to move out of here and get out from underneath all my rules. I reminded him that no matter where he goes he'll have to play by someone's rules. His reply? "Not yours."

I'm taking my child to get his ears pierced today. He's excited as hell, telling me how good he's going to look and the girls are going to go crazy and that earrings will bring out the color of his eyes. His eyes are a light shade of brown -- not sure how earrings will bring that out. We're also taking a trip to an amusement park. It's going to be ninety degrees today and I'm spending my Saturday walking around an amusement park ... what won't I do for that boy? Nothing.

I remember bringing my child home for the first time. His room was decorated beautifully and he looked so tiny in the middle of his crib. I would leave a tape player in his room at night and I would hold him in my arms and dance him too sleep listening to Mariah Carey's Vision of Love. He was a good baby. He's slowly becoming a good man.

He has his own way of doing things. He's logical and naive at the same time. I love when he graces me with his presence and actually sits down and has a conversation with me. That doesn't happen very often. He loves music and movies. Whenever he gets a new movie he begs me to sit in the living room with him to watch it. I love those moments. He has other interests that don't include me and that's okay. I'm not in the forefront -- just lingering in the background. Watching. Trying not to hover.

Somewhere at some particular time the tables turned. I remember a time when he needed me more than I needed him. Now, it seems that I need him more than he needs me. I guess that's a good thing. I am doing a good job with my boy. I know that.

Now, if I could only get him to clean up that room.