Since when did Mic.h.a.el E.ri.c Dy.s.on become the spokesman for all Black women?
I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me but something about him irks me. I can’t explain it and I don’t have any particular reason for it but he makes my butt itch. In the newest issue of Ess.ence magazine (Mo’Ni.q.ue is on the cover … and while we’re talking about Mo’Ni.q.ue … damn … enough already … you like yourself … we get it!) the title of the What Men Think section is "Do you believe that Black women have too much attitude?”
**sigh**
Perhaps my response to this question reeks of attitude, thereby proving the point but damn it … since when did Black women corner the market on attitude?
Excuse me … the white woman in my favorite lingerie store gives me attitude all the time. The Asian woman in the beauty supply store is filled with attitude. Don’t get me started on the waitress at the Mexican restaurant. Sheeesh!
I take offense to this because what is actually an independent, strong personality is misidentified as having a bad attitude. I’m tired of it. Why should I be silent and shrink into the background just so others won’t think I have an attitude?
Anyway, in the magazine MED says:
The rolling of the eyes. The verbal whiplash. The creatively choreographed neck twist. Black women indeed have a great deal of attitude—and it’s a good thing.
First of all, this stereotypical, cartoonish depiction of Black women just rubs me the wrong way. This is not how we all react in situations and for him to say “it’s a good thing” just encourages some Black women to continue in this manner and tells white folks to expect it.
He goes on to say:
The Black female attitude is a vital survival trait. Without a defiant spirit, Black women would have long ago been eaten up by a society that loves and loathes their bodies and brains. Without the spunk and vitality they bring, the race wouldn’t have come as far as it has. Sure, sometimes their temperamental dispositions can be overbearing. But if brothers view it from a woman’s perspective, we might see just how hard it is to turn that spirit on and off at will.
A vital survival trait? Maybe it’s not what he’s saying but how it’s being said. I believe that Black women should be able to stand up for themselves without fear of backlash but the term “Black female attitude” … MED does mention that we are able to turn the attitude on and off.
I think that most Black women who have managed to overcome various obstacles did so by using their intelligence and not the eye roll or the neck twist.
MED says that Black women need a defiant spirit in order to survive. I wonder if Cyn.th.ia McK.in.n.ey would agree. Yes, the case was thrown out but for a minute I'll bet she was sweating bullets. Defiance is defined as:
adj : boldly resisting authority or an opposing force; "brought up to be aggressive and defiant"; "a defiant attitude"
I remember times in my own life when I boldly resisted authority and the results were less than desirable. There are ways to get exactly what you want without acting like a spoiled child and the intelligent woman knows exactly how to do this.
I used to work for a defense contractor and one of my co-workers was another Black woman. We both were unsatisfied with our jobs. She chose to come in late, take long lunches, make and receive personal phone calls all day long and do exactly what was asked of her, no more or no less. She was getting attention for all the wrong reasons. Her way of thinking was that as long as she did her job that they couldn't say anything to her. And since most corporate establishments are so afraid of discrimination lawsuits they didn't say anything to her. However, she was still viewed as a Black woman with an attitude and therefore was never considered for promotional opportunities, bonuses, etc. I spoke to my boss about my concerns and when no positive changes were forthcoming I continued to do the job that I was being paid for while I looked for another job. A better paying job with better benefits. The other woman is still there … working the same job and making the same complaints. What is she accomplishing? Nothing. The defiant attitude is getting her nowhere.
We all have our own methods for dealing with adversity. Perhaps my comments here prove the “Black woman attitude” theory. But who better than to speak on it than a Black woman?
What is meant to be will be
