What is meant to be will be
Leave Lazy at the Door
Thursday, May 25, 2006
I feel like a slug. I’m restless and I’m frustrated and I fear I have fallen into the trap.
The blogging trap.
I could lie and say that I was using blogging to foster my creative juices and get me back into the swing of writing. But come on … I don’t even believe that crap.
I feel like I just exist when I actually want to live. I feel as though I’m just walking around in this body in a fog and not making any real contributions. I’m not doing anything creative right now and it’s killing me. The only writing I’m doing is here and although I love the outlet and the interaction … it’s just not creatively fulfilling.
I have an electric keyboard at the house which I received as a birthday present two years ago. My intention was to teach myself how to play. Day after day I look at that keyboard and I feel like it’s mocking me. Daring me to sit down and pluck out “What a Wonderful World” or at the very least the chords to “If I Ain’t Got You”. I make an excuse to myself and pick up the remote. And the keyboard wins again.
I suck.
I have no excuse other than being just plain old LAZY. I have another novel to write. I have my characters. I have the outline. On the way home from work yesterday, I actually spoke the first chapter into existence. What did I do when I got home? I made dinner, ate and fell asleep in front of the television. I’m so sick of myself.
I’m not going to make some empty proclamation about taking a blog break, because let’s face it: I’m addicted. But I know that I will not be able to shake this feeling and start feeling good about myself again until I get off my ass and DO SOMETHING. Write a friggin’, chapter! Hell, a paragraph!
JUST DO IT!!!!!
Blessed by chele at 10:46 AM
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