I’m preparing myself and my children to attend a family reunion in July. This will be the third reunion that I’ve attended in the last three years.
The first one was for my mother’s side of the family and we all traveled to Connecticut. My mom is an only child, my grandmother is deceased and she never met her father. There was one aunt and two uncles but they are also deceased. The reunion was a small gathering of all the cousins and their children. It was very subdued and nice. Everyone did a lot of reflecting, my sister made a family quilt which was just lovely. My mother’s side of the family consists of a long line of preachers (my great grandfather, my grandmother, my mother and one of her cousins) so there really wasn’t any cutting up. It was a good weekend with no drama.
The second reunion was for my father’s side of the family which was also in Connecticut. My father is one of 11 children and at the time they were all alive except for one. All the siblings and all the kids and grandkids showed up and my parents won a prize for having the most grandchildren – 15. My father’s family is interesting because they have the mindset that the siblings are the REAL members of the family and the spouses and the children are … well … not. It’s odd and almost offensive … but we’ve learned to accept it and keep it moving. At the banquet all the siblings were at a table together and all the spouses and children were seated on the outskirts. It wasn’t planned that way they just all gravitated toward each other. Early in my parent’s marriage, I remember one of my uncles called my mother out her name. She asked my father if he was going to do anything about it. You know what he said? “What do you want me to do? He’s my brother!” Yeah, that pretty much sucked. It was clear from that point on where she stood with him and the family. It pissed me off when she told me the story … but he’s my father. I’m not making excuses for him or his jacked up loyalties … but he’s my father.
Well, the reunion I’m going to in July is for my biological father’s family. The father that I refer to above is the man that raised me. I met my biological father one time when I was 19. He died about 12 years ago.
Shortly thereafter, his eldest daughter got in touch with me and asked if we could meet. She had lost her mother a few years prior and now her father was gone too and I guess she just wanted to get to know me. I’ve told this story before, but for those of you who don’t know here’s a recap.
Anyway, she and I now speak on a regular basis. I’ve also met my brother and two uncles over the phone. Well, one of the uncles came to my town last year and we got to talking, he read my book (which is a semi-autobiographical account of how I found out about them) and he invited me and my kids to come to the reunion.
I don’t know these people and as the day gets closer I’m feeling more apprehensive about the whole thing. I’m definitely going … I’ve already paid for the trip … but it’s going to be interesting. The conversations that I have with my brother are very warm and friendly and he says he can’t wait to meet me and I’m hoping that will be the general feeling from other members of the family. I mean, should I really expect a warm reception based on how I came to be part of the family? If people have a problem with it, hopefully they will have the decency to keep it to themselves. If not, I swear to God … Atlanta will never be the same.
What is meant to be will be
