I’m on the downside of a serious mood swing. I hate when this happens. I can’t control what I say or how I behave. It’s scary. I tend to alienate the one person that I don’t ever want to leave me. He understands but it still sucks. It takes me about twenty minutes to drive home from work and during that 20-minute drive yesterday I spent the entire time talking to myself out loud … convincing myself of why I should kick his ass to the curb. He hasn’t done anything … I was just in a mood. Today I’m fine. Except my fingers are swollen and I can’t get my rings off.
Are there any kind of drugs I could take to stabilize my mood swings? I guess I could just deal with it – I have been dealing with it for more than 20 years but it just seems that as I get older it gets worse.
My son told me last night that some girl at school rubbed his face and told him how smooth his skin was. This is a chick that he told me he wasn’t interested in … now he says he likes her but he doesn’t want to go out with her right now. Triflin’ heffa. He also told me that if he does start to “go out” with someone (whatever the hell that means) that he won’t tell me about it for two months – just in case it doesn’t work out. His reasoning is that he doesn’t want me to get all involved in his business if the relationship isn’t going anywhere. What? He just doesn't want me to scare the hell out of these girls -- which I love doing. I can't tell you how many times his friends have told him how mean they think I am.
I don’t like this. I want him to be careful. He’s a good person. A trusting person who always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. Lovely qualities, right? I know … but all I see is a bunch of fast girls trying to get at my child. He’s very attractive and all these little heffas are thinking about is having some good-hair babies. (Don’t laugh!)
I swear, if my boss high-fives me one more time …
Why do certain members of my family think just because something is “white” that makes it better? (i.e., doctors, restaurants, etc.) I think she has serious issues regarding being Black and it pisses me off. She told me a story about how their family dentist did some really jacked up mess and I suggested that she get their records and find another dentist. She proceeded to tell me how prestigious he was and what a great neighborhood the office is in, and how all the “high society” people use this guy, blah blah blah … WTF? So, does that mean that you have to eat shit because it’s being served on a silver platter? Fuck that!
I am so not looking forward to going to this funeral on Saturday. I want to say good-bye to my Nana but there is always so much drama associated with funerals. It is for that reason that I’m driving up paying my respects and getting in the car and coming home. My father said he was going to reserve a room for me for two days … sorry Charlie – it ain’t happening. That sounds bad but I can’t help how I feel.
My sister’s husband and children think she has a drinking problem. She called me yesterday to tell me about it:
Sis: These people are really beginning to get on my nerves.
Me: Why?
Sis: They always have something to say whenever I have a glass of wine.
Me: A glass or a bottle?
Sis: Shut up! I’m serious – they are getting on my nerves so much that I’m going to have to start leaving the house in order to have a drink.
Me: Well, first of all let me say this … you are over 21 and should be able to have a drink whenever you want …
Sis: I know, right!
Me: But on the other hand … if you feel like you have to hide it from them maybe you do have a problem. Do you drink everyday?
Sis: Yes. I have the bottle on my nightstand, I go in my room and have a drink.
Me: On your nightstand? Why the hell is it on your nightstand?
Sis: Where should it be?
Me: Downstairs in the wine rack, maybe?
Sis: Then I have to go downstairs to get it … (whining)
Me: (laughing) Okay, for real … I’m not going to tell you what to do, but you need to take the wine bottle out of your bedroom and you need to stop sneaking to drink. If you really believe that you’re not doing anything wrong than you shouldn’t have to hide it.
Sis: You’re right. I keep telling **husband** that I’m less bitchy and I don’t complain as much …
Me: You need to stop self-medicating with alcohol. You need to figure out why you’re so bitchy and complain all the time and fix that.
Sis: Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll try to go back to just drinking on Friday nights.
Me: Maybe you should.
My opinion: My sister drinks too damn much. When she said that the bottle was in her bedroom I almost fell off my chair. I don’t want to be a watchdog, especially since I also enjoy a glass of wine with my dinner about two or three times a week.
What is meant to be will be
