Wicked Stepmother: You know, **Object**, you are just like your father. You need a lot of love and a woman with children will never put you first.
The object of my affection spent New Years up north with his father and stepmother. We had a fight before he left and we’ve since patched things up, however, the above were the words of advice that the stepmother imparted to him during his visit.
First of all: Mind your own business!
Second of all: You’re right. A good mother never puts a man in front of her children!
Thirdly: You ain’t got no kids so you have no opinion!
I can’t even tell you why this burns me up so much. He understands his place in my life and if he had a problem with it he would have walked years ago – and I would have held the door for him.
And while I’m on the subject, it kinda pisses me off that a member of my family has made the following statement in the past:
Family Member: You guys should get married
Me: He and the kids don’t really have a relationship that would be conducive to us getting married
Family Member: Well, the kids are just gonna have to understand. Aren’t you supposed to be happy, too?
To you, I say, Bite Me! Just because you couldn’t survive without a husband doesn’t mean that shit applies to me.
I will not be happy playing referee between my man and my kids. I want my kids to turn the key on their home and be happy to be there. Their home should be their sanctuary – not a place they dread going to because “Mommy’s husband” is there. Just because I love him doesn’t mean they have to love him.
I feel very strongly about this. I always want my kids to know that they come first. I don’t want them to think for one minute that I put a man before them. I’m all they have and once they leave and have lives of their own then I’ll feel comfortable giving my undivided attention to a man. Until then … I’m a mother first. Don't get it twisted...I handle mine (and his) but never at the expense of my kids.
Perhaps I would feel differently if my kids were younger or if I had never been married. I don’t know.
What is meant to be will be
