“Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite” – Khalil Gibran (The Prophet, 1923)
I discovered the writing of Khalil Gibran about fifteen years ago. I was searching for a poem that could be read during my wedding ceremony. Instead I found The Prophet. Gibran’s writing is beautiful, colorful and vivid. It speaks to the deepest part of who I am and it all seems to make sense. And even though The Prophet was written in 1923, his commentary titled Reason and Passion is so relevant to me today. It’s comforting in that I am reassured that what I’m going through is nothing new. It’s also disconcerting because I realize that I’m still fighting the same war that I was fighting more than 15 years ago.
That bothers me. I am a different person now. Older and hopefully wiser but still caught in a struggle between reason and passion. As I reread Reason and Passion I come across the following passage:
Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.
But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?
The lover of all my elements. I guess the only way to stop this war is to stop viewing it as a war. To realize that reason and passion have to work hand in hand in order for me to be at peace. There has to be a balance between the two. How the hell do I do that? Normally, one carries more weight than the other. One is louder than the other. What’s the answer? Yoga? Meditation? Prayer?
Gibran goes on to say that:
Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.
If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.
For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.
We must be able to allow both reason and passion to have their rightful place. Because of my upbringing I have often viewed my passion as something negative. Probably because when I was younger my passion so often went unattended. Too many times I would wake up in the morning and say, “What the hell have I done now?” As a kid it is so much easier to ask for forgiveness instead of asking for permission. Now I’m an adult and I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission for anything but I am still accountable. I am accountable to myself and accountable to those who care about me. I recognize that my actions will indirectly (or directly) affect those around me.
For example, forty-one years ago a woman got involved with a married man. He was charming and said all the right things. This woman allowed her passion to completely override her reason. The result? ME.
Now, my mother repeatedly tells me that if she had to do it all over again – she wouldn’t change a thing. That’s nice of her to say. I know she loves me and is glad that I’m here but I can imagine the heartbreak that she experienced knowing that she would never live happily ever after with this man--her daughter's father. In addition, her actions not only changed her for the rest of her life but I often wonder if this is part of the reason why I have such a difficult time in romantic relationships -- two divorces in eleven years ain't exactly a good thing.
What is Gibran’s answer?
Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows - then let your heart say in silence, "God rests in reason."
And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky, - then let your heart say in awe, "God moves in passion."
And since you are a breath In God's sphere, and a leaf in God's forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.
I have a date this weekend. My ex is taking me to dinner and then to a concert. It seems that he would like for me to enjoy intimate moments without being in an intimate relationship. I can’t do it and maintain my sanity. I know that now. The light has finally come on. While the gifts and the dinners and the limo rides are all nice – I need more. Not necessarily from him because we’ve tried that and it failed; and I won’t open the door to other possibilities until I close the door completely on him.
Clarity can be a bitch.
What is meant to be will be
