Don't be afraid to see what you already know.

I read that somewhere but right now the origin escapes me. To me, it means that we should face reality in all situations. We are all equipped with a certain amount of common sense and there are a number of things that we know to be true. The question becomes: Why do we inisist on operating as if these truths don't exist or even worse -- belong to someone else?

Romantic relationships are a perfect example. Usually, a woman knows long before a relationship is over that it is actually over. Why does she wait around until her man figures it out? Maybe she doesn't want to hurt his feelings by leaving. Maybe she thinks she can change things and make the relationship better. Maybe she'd rather have him leave her. Who knows? Why don't we ever just rip off the relationship band-aid in one swift painful moment?

I don't know why.

My first marriage was over long before it ever even began. I was married to a pathological liar who turned out to also be a bigamist. It's easy for me to say that now and to even talk and joke about it since it happened about fifteen years ago. I knew that relationship was doomed but I did not choose to see what I already knew. After all, the invitations had gone out and my dress was hanging in the closet. The truth is, there were so many isolated incidences that when examined alone they seemed like nothing. However, when you combine them it was like a sky writer with a message that read "Don't marry him, girl!" Of course, I did marry him. I became pregnant right away and shortly afterward I found out that he still had a wife in the midwest. I promptly kicked his ass out of my house.

What was I thinking? I hate to rehash the past but I have got to figure this out. He was a liar. He lied about his name, his age, his father's death, his family's medical history and about being divorced. I was young but I can't use that as an excuse. Was I so in love that I thought I could get past all the lies and still live happily ever after? I don't think so. If that was the case I wouldn't have left him when I was eight weeks pregnant. I would have continued to live the lie while he quietly got divorced and remarried me. Which, by the way, is exactly what my mother thought I should have done.

As a result, I don't trust anybody. I think everybody is lying. And if it turns out that they are lying -- God help them. My faith in that person is completely shaken and I don't know if I'm ever able to completely trust them again. What a head case. Did I mention that I was in therapy?

Would we be better off if we just decided to accept the truth and act on it instead of burying it away somewhere? Eventually, we will be forced to face it and deal with it so why not do it sooner than later?

It's raining.